Dudes and Dishwashers (#36)

Before we even get into this discussion, I need to make a disclaimer.  This post will have some generalizations.  I realize that ALL people do not fall into the forthcoming descriptions, but just roll with me.  Because even if you don’t fit these, you know someone who does.

So ladies, let me ask you this.  Let’s say your thirsty.  And let’s say you want a glass of water.  You walk over to the cupboard and you open the cupboard door with one hand.  And let’s just say it’s your right hand. You reach into the cupboard with your left hand and grab a glass, never taking your right hand off the cupboard door.  Then…wait for it……….you close. the. door.  To the cupboard.  Just like that.  And you didn’t even break a sweat.  Crazy, right?

And dudes, you are also thirsty and want a glass of water.  So you walk over to the cupboard and open the door with one hand.  Reach into it, grab a glass and….wait for it…you walk away.  Do you see what’s missing here?  No?  THE DOOR.  IT’S STILL OPEN!

Now ladies, let’s say you just got done eating dinner.  You pick up your plate and hold it even with the edge of the table, brushing any table crumbs onto your plate.  You bring your plate over to the sink, throwing away your paper napkin and disposing of any left over foods in either the trash or disposal.  Next, you gracefully turn on the kitchen faucet and run warm water over your dishes to rinse them.  And like a super hero, you open up the door to this crazy invention called….wait for it….a dishwasher.  Whaaaaaaaat?  There’s a machine that washes your dishes?  Yes.  Why yes there is.

Dudes.  Let’s pretend that you just got done eating.  And let’s make an assumption you used an actual, real plate (not a paper towel).  You grab your plate and throw away your napkin (nice job, by the way), then you set your plate in the sink and walk away.  Again, do you see any difference here from your female counterpart?

Apparently dudes haven’t heard of this machine thing called a dish-wash-er.  They do seem to think however that just placing the dishes in the sink will magically create the same outcome as this crazy invention that sits under the counter top.  I’m almost convinced there is some genetic defect in the y chromosome that causes this.

Here’s the thing. I’m not claiming that women are perfect.  When you dudes do take the extra step to put away your dishes, we probably tell you that you did it wrong.  And when we get frustrated about your lack of ability to put things away, we probably huff and puff our way around the kitchen and tell you we are “fine” when you ask us what is wrong.  We have our faults too, we’re just pretty sure that it’s not as many as you.

So here’s some advice.

Ladies – quit telling the dudes they’re not doing it good enough.  If they take the initiative to help out, let them do it.  Don’t correct them.  And make sure you tell them how much you appreciate it.   It also can’t hurt to tell them how sexy they look when they close the cupboard door, their muscles rippling underneath the skin of their forearms.

Dudes – if you want less huffing and puffing, start putting your dishes in the dishwasher.  Without her asking.  Clean up your crumbs from the table.  And close the damn cupboard door.  You’d be amazed how many less ‘headaches’ she may have at night, if you do this…if you catch my drift.