First Day of School (rhymes with itches)

First day of school, BITCHEEEEES! Wait. Sorry, I got a little too excited there and channeled Jesse Pinkman. You know, from Breaking Bad? Anyhoo. Let’s try this again…First Day of School! It’s the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL and the FIRST DAY of FREEEEEEDOMMMMMM! Because sometimes, just sometimes, our kiddos seem like our enemies, don’t they? I mean come. on. Tell me some of you weren’t ready to paint your face blue, don a horse and yell the following as you shooed your kids out of the house, “you may take my life, but you will never take my freeeeeeeeedom…” (See clip at the 1:55 mark). No? Just me?

Okay, for realz now. Let’s talk about the first day of middle school. It was brilliance over here. Sheer joy. Okay, so maybe, just maybe my eyes welled up when I secretly watched the bus drive past our house, peeking through a tiny window in our door, to ensure the very cool middle schooler did not lose his cred from his crazy mom waving in the driveway.

Let me back up a bit. As mentioned in yesterday’s post, the kid and I discussed how the bus stop situation would go down today. I firmly stated I would cooly stand about 20 feet from the bus stop, without talking to him, making kissy faces, or yelling, ‘Have a great day pooky face!’. Meanwhile, he begged for mercy and prayed to the sweet baby Jesus that I would stay not only at our house, but I would stay IN the house, while he walked to the bus stop. Yeah. That’s. Not. Happening.

Fast forward to this morning.

First, let’s talk about coffee. A must have for 6am wake up call the first day of school (and all the days of school thereafter). And a very obvious requirement that ensures you turn on the stove to the right temperature to make the super delicious caramel rolls from the Pillsbury tube.

Second, it goes without saying I’m in the running for ‘Mother of the Year’, for getting up early enough to make said caramel rolls from the tube, per request from the brand new middle schooler. Duh.

So, the kid wakes up on time, to his alarm (there’s a first time for everything), showers and gets dressed – even with some excitement. I greet him as he comes down the stairs and we go through the checklist (shower – check, brush teeth – check, deodorant – check). Whew.

As he’s eating breakfast, Lucky Charms, (he no longer wants the caramel rolls I worked so hard to unroll from the tube and bake – but it’s okay, I’m still in the running…) he asks, “So Mom, you’re not coming to the bus stop, right?”

“Umm, oh yes I am! I’ve been practicing my dance moves all night!” (See yesterday’s post).

He rolls his eyes, and again, proceeds to beg for mercy.

So, the time comes for him to head to the bus stop. But first, we must get the picture. He obliges, begrudgingly, but only cooperates because the bus stop is not within view from our front step and thus no kids can see his totally embarrassing mom. And you know all these cute chalkboard signs stating the year and grade, being held by adorable kiddos, plastered all over Facebook? Yeah. We don’t have those at our house (oh crap, that may have cost me mother of the year). I’m lucky if I can capture a smiling face. Asking him to hold anything while getting a shot would be like, well, getting shots. Whatever. Pick your battles, right? Remember, I’m banning the shoulds! So who cares that I’ve never ever, in all of his school years, had the kid hold a sign or signal what grade with his hands for the first day pic. Oh well. I least I clothed and fed him before sending him off, right? Do I get credit for that?

Back to the bus stop scenario. We start walking down the sidewalk from our front door and Mr. Middle School Cool says, “Hey, so you can just stay right here on the side walk, mmmkay?”

“Umm. No Noah. That’s not gonna happen. Let’s go…” and then I proceeded to dance the Running Man down the driveway. Oh yes I did. Look, I double checked, there were no kids in sight. But he freaked out anyway. And it was funny. Plus, he deserved it for sitting across the aisle from me at the movie the other day. Whatevs. Bottom line is this. I let him walk to the bus stop. By himself. I didn’t really go and hang 20 feet away. I stayed in the driveway, standing between our two cars, so I was hardly visible to any of the kids, who were four houses away, by the way.

“Mom, can you please stay on the sidewalk by the front door?”

“No, then I can’t see the bus stop.”

“I know, but c’mon mom. Please…”

“No. I will stay here in the driveway. I won’t yell at you. I’ll just quietly stalk you from here.”

“Mom….please…can you hide behind a bush?”

SERIOUSLY…HE ASKED ME TO HIDE BEHIND A BUSH.

“N-O. NOAH. I’m not hiding behind a bush. Ask me again and I’m coming to the bus stop, hitting play on my phone, and booty shaking until the bus comes.”

Sigh. Eye roll. Back Turned. And he walked away. OMG how I wanted to yell to him that I loved him and hoped he had a great day.

But. I. Didn’t. I said them in my head and prayed a silent prayer that he wouldn’t trip in the lunchroom and would find his way to all his classes. You know, the most important stuff.

He found his way. He didn’t trip. He did get yelled at already though, almost got a tardy for a class and almost missed the bus home. Not too bad for a first day, right?

I tried to entice him for answers about his day with a fresh, made from from scratch, batch (no tube or pre made dough here) of warm, ooey-gooey, chocolate chip cookies. But alas, as expected, it was difficult to get much out of him about his day. This was about as much as I got, the best and worst parts of the day.

Best = the bus ride

Worst = the classes

Translation = It’s going to be a long year.

He already had homework for two classes and paperwork for me to sign. But of course, when I asked him these questions when he arrived home, he said he had neither. NO homework. And NOTHING for me to sign.

Again, it’s going to be a long year.

I started reading some of the handouts individual teachers gave out. Seriously, I don’t remember middle school being this intense! There was a lot of bold and underlined stuff in those hand outs! While reading some of the classroom guidelines, I came across a particular gem. I’ve not met this teacher, but I simply ADORE HER. Wanna know why? Because of this:

DO NOT HERD BY THE DOOR. YOU ARE NOT CATTLE.

I mean. Come. On. How do you NOT love this woman. Am I right?

Anyway…I’m rambling. So what’s new. The point is this. If you know N or any of his history, today was out of this world magnificent in how ‘normal’ it was for him. Even down to the complete and total embarrassment he has to be around me. In fact, in talking with him this afternoon, I pointed out to him that there was a Dad at the bus stop this morning, so why couldn’t I be there?

His response?

“Yeah. But that’s because he’s cool.”

Sigh. Some day he’ll appreciate my epic dance moves and wry sense of humor. And he may even acknowledge me for that. Maybe.

Just. Maybe.

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By the way, I am participating in the NaBloPoMo (national blog post month) this month, which challenges me to write a post every day, for the entire month of September. This is a big, big commitment and one I will try really, really hard to adhere to. So hang with me…some posts may bore you (hopefully not), some posts may seem like rambling (more than usual) and some posts may just be short, and sweet. But I’m up for the challenge! Stick with me and let’s see how this goes!