How To Be a Perfect Mom in 3 Easy Steps

Here we are, day ten of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), in which I am attempting to write and publish a blog post every single day, for the month of November. Whoa. It’s tough, I tell you. To think of topics to write on every day, and then to have the courage and gumption to do so. Some days, I struggle with an idea, but am ready to write. And some days, I have the idea, but I struggle to write it. So yeah. It’s H-A-R-D. But also rewarding and fun to challenge myself.

The good news is, BlogHer provides writing prompts for the weekdays, should you want a topic provided for you. Today, the topic is to write a “How To” post. To date, I haven’t followed any of the writing prompts, but today, I thought I’d give it a try. So here goes…

How to Be a Perfect Mom in 3 Easy Steps. Are you laughing yet? Cuz I am…

1. Perfect? HA! First things first. There is NO SUCH THING as a Perfect Mom. So stop trying to be one. The sooner we accept this, the happier we will all be, no? And let’s just say there was such a thing, we ALL know, it would certainly take more than 3 steps to get there!  But whatever…

2. Love yourself for WHO YOU ARE. Be accepting of your mistakes as a mother, as a human! And know that you are trying the best you can. Some days you will yell. Some days you will say something you shouldn’t have. Some days you will forget something (like picking them up at school or playing your role as the tooth fairy). But ALL the days you will love your child (although some days you may not like them), ALL the days you would do anything to prevent them from hurting. ALL the days you make sacrifices. You are a mom. You do your best. You are enough! Embrace the beautiful mess that you are. We’re all messy, this is what it is to be human and alive. M-E-S-S-Y.

3. Listen. Love. Learn. You guys, if there is anything that we can do to raise our children to be the best humans they can be, it is to teach them to Listen, to Love and to Learn. And we can teach them this, by doing it ourselves. Are you listening, truly? Are you hearing them? I know…we hear the door slams and the crying and the whining and the begging to stay up late. But do you REALLY hear them? Are you REALLY listening? I know this much, it takes practice and intention to really listen, to really hear the needs of my son. Because they’re not always plainly stated. They may masquerade as huffs and puffs and side glances and eye rolls. They may masquerade as silence or talking too much. Especially when they’re in the teenage range. Oh boy…we almost have to become translators of a different language. My point is this. We have to get deliberate and make sure we are taking the time to listen. When we do, we show our children LOVE. We demonstrate Love with our time, with our listening, with our willingness to learn. We show our love to our children by not only saying it, but by showing up, fully present at the dinner table, at their sports event or science fair. We show our love to our children by paying attention and being willing to LEARN from them. It is often said, the best leaders are the best learners. I believe the same goes for parenting. We don’t have all the answers. And it is okay for our children to know that. We can learn from our children, and we can learn with our children. Mistakes and all. Imperfection and all. And what a beautiful thing, that is.

You guys. I’m made so many mistakes parenting, I can’t even count. I’ve lost track over these twelve years. But I know I’ve also done so many things ‘right’. Meaning…I’ve shown up. I try. Some days, I feel like I’ve got this parenting thing down. Piece of cake. Okay, maybe not cake. But many days? That feeling gets quashed and I’m left wondering what went wrong? Did I scar him for life? When he’s older, will he just remember me being stressed and cranky ALL the days? Or will he remember the playfulness and fun we had. When he thinks of me years from now, will he remember the words, ‘Hurry up!’ so readily available at my lips…or will he remember the ‘I Love You’s’. Likely, he will remember both, if he thinks hard enough. But I hope, me showing up…always in his corner, ready to Listen, Love and Learn, will leave him with little question about what kind of parent I was.

One who was there. One who showed up. One he could count on. One he knew would always love him, no matter what, no matter how hard, no matter the distance. My hope is he’ll always know the light he is in my life and the love I carry for him.

And really, you can’t get much more perfect than that, can you?