The Lies I Tell my Child

It’s true. I do.

Lie to my child. Because, even though we teach our children that lying is bad, bad, bad. Well…sometimes, there’s just no other choice. I mean, I try not to, but sometimes, it’s just so….convenient.

And you know how I’m always all, I’m trying to write my authentic story and share the real me on my blog? Well here you go. The REAL me (forgive me).

So in the interest of sharing the REAL me (and preserving some level of dignity), I’m owning up to a few recent lies.

Wait. These are just the lies I told TODAY.

I’m doomed…

LIE: I told my son he couldn’t have the last bottle of water in the house, that I needed it. Why? Because I’m older and tap water causes wrinkles. Therefore, since I’m so much older, I needed the last bottle. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LIE: I was heating up a little snack earlier this evening in the microwave and my son yelled down from his room and asked what I was making. I told him I was steaming some Edamame. TOTAL LIE. It was this. And OMG, if you haven’t tried these, don’t even start because CRACK.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And side note, they heat up in 30 seconds. I can never buy these again, or I’ll have to start going to the gym twice a day, seven days a week.

And side, side note. I actually do like Edamame. And actually DO HAVE SOME IN THE HOUSE. As evidenced below. I just didn’t choose edamame for my snack. But I should have. Sigh. I clearly need to work on self control. But that’s a WHOLE ‘nother post!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LIE: I have a secret stash of Peanut Butter M&Ms. Yes I do. Don’t roll your eyes at me. I know I’m not the only momma out there with her own super secret stash of some kind of treat!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know what’s even funnier about this stash? It’s not even really hidden. It’s right in the front of the cupboard, but it’s in with the vitamins and toothpicks, which NO ONE else in this house seems to frequently need or use.

Oh, Oh! I have an idea…let’s all us mommas share our best secret snack hiding spots!

Ready…GO!