Just Because You Can’t See It…

Think about this…

If you had a child with their dominant arm and hand in a cast, it wouldn’t be uncommon for the school to provide an extra book for the child to keep at home and also provide an alternative for writing down their assignments, because they’re unable to write, correct? Seeing as how carrying a lot of text books to and from school with one arm out of service and unable to write with the dominant hand in a cast would be make school a bit more difficult for this kid. We would try to set up this child for success, would we not?

Now, instead…imagine this child lives with multiple mental illness diagnoses which make it difficult for him to remember all the supplies needed. One diagnosis allows him to hear, see and feel EVERYTHING in the room. He is unable to filter out all of the different stimuli and focus on one thing at a time. So he often comes home without needed books or a memory of what homework is due. Also imagine that he’s been diagnosed with deficits in neuro-cognitive abilities that make writing extremely difficult and laboring. So much so, that it takes all of his might to write down the assignments he does remember. It is a feat for him to transfer them from his brain, to his hand, to his pencil. And when he does make it happen, it is physically painful.

Now, let me ask you this…would we chastise the child in the cast for not bringing his math book home? Would we tell him and his parent that he is just refusing to write stuff down? Would we tell his parents that he’s just angry we’re keeping track of what he’s doing and infer he’s just lazy?

But, because the child living with the mental illnesses has illnesses that are invisible, we just assume that the child is making choices of laziness, apathy and enjoys being defiant. So we blame him.

When in reality, he is suffering. When in reality he is hurting physically and emotionally. When in reality he is struggling as much as the child in the cast, but no one acknowledges it or believes him.

When in reality, he believes that we all think he’s just not good enough.

This ‘he’, the one who thinks he’s not good enough. He is my son. And he is suffering, and yet – we blame him for his illness.

It is time to change our perception.