One Call. Kind words. A happy heart. And hope.
It really is that simple.
Yesterday I received a call from my son’s school. As usual, when I looked at the caller ID, my heart stuttered a bit. My mind raced. And I wondered, what now?
I answered, and the voice on the other end reassured me right away it was a ‘good news’ call. The caller was one of his teachers. The same teacher I wrote about in the post two weeks ago, Crying in the Canned Goods Aisle. Yep, the very one that made my cry, a happy cry, in the canned goods aisle at Target.
He went on to share with me how he and my son have become buddies. How even though things aren’t perfect and he still misbehaves at times, he sees how special my son is. That my son is a bright spot in his day and how much he enjoys having him in his class. He told me he’d be happy to have my child back to help during high school, when he needs volunteer hours. And, he’d be happy to provide a recommendation for job applications. Anything he can do to support him, he’d be happy to help.
He saw my son. Really saw him.
He cares. Really cares.
He connects. Really connects.
And he knows my son matters. He knows my son is more than his faults. He knows my son’s heart and mind and sees potential.
This is the teacher we always hope for for our children. This is the person that leaves a lasting impression. This is someone who embodies the saying, ‘Be the Change’.
This teacher…he exhibits grace. He leads with love. He may not define it this way. But I do. I see it. And my heart is so full of gratitude and love. And hope. And it couldn’t have come at a better time.
Because these aren’t the calls or emails we usually get. The calls and emails we usually get are about all the things he could do better. They’re usually about all the ‘problems’ and disruption he causes. About all the deficits they see in him.
Frankly, it has felt like they expect him to fail.
They watch him like a hawk; support staff in every one of his classes, eyes on him at all times and taking notes on his behavior. He’s pulled from the room after one warning of chatting, passing notes, or taking out his school issued iPad when he isn’t supposed to. Assumptions are made that he is the one at fault in conflicts, before they’ve even asked any questions.
The majority of the communication I get from school, about him, is negative.
I know my child can be a challenge. I get it. He exhibits the same behavior at home. But he is more than his behavior. He is more than his talking out of turn. He is more. So. Much. More.
He isn’t one to conform or be blindly compliant. He asks questions. If rules don’t make sense to him, he doesn’t like to follow them. But he isn’t mean spirited. He isn’t crude. He isn’t a oppositional for the sake of being so. He is a warm hearted, kind, curious, generous and funny kid. One who talks a bit too much and likes to question the rules. And frankly, I think those qualities are strengths for him. But they’re not the qualities that mesh well with a school system that relies on obedience and compliance.
This teacher may not ever understand the tremendous gift he has given me for seeing the heart of my son. He may not understand the depth of the impact he has made on my child, by respecting him. But I am hoping with words I can convey the gratitude I feel.
This teacher, with his respect and kindness, has given my son a sense of purpose. The gift of knowing he matters. And the hope he can make a difference.
And that is all I’ve been wishing for.
Follow
