He Likes Pink – So What

Thursday I went on a little rant on Facebook. But it is an important one, so I wanted to share it here as well.

 

Today was the day. Middle school (7th grade) orientation. Whew. I dropped him off at 7:50 and he walked into that building, more confident than I ever was.

So now, it’s official – with a PE shirt, his class schedule and his master binder – I am the parent of a middle schooler. Lord have mercy. Lord, have all the mercys. I beg you.

Lastly, and most importantly, I want to point out the pink binder. Because I’m just so damn proud of this kid. Have you ever paid attention to the comments people (adult people, mind you) make to YOUR child, when they’re a boy choosing anything pink?

Holy ridiculousness. Today, the kid selected this pink binder at school. Not one, but two unrelated adults made a point to him that pink is a ‘girl’s color’. He politely, but firmly, looked them each in the eye and said, “I. Like. Pink.” So damn proud. I can’t even tell you.

This has become a thing for several months. Ever since he proclaimed pink as his favorite color. And I’m getting used to this reaction by now. It happens so often. From his pink swim cap, to his pink pencils to his pink binder. People are just really uncomfortable.

IT’S A COLOR, people. Why, in the name of all the colors of the rainbow, does my son choosing pink, bother you?!?! Why do you care?

I’m as guilty as the next, in the beginning, of thinking ‘ohhh, he might get teased’. But I kept those thoughts to myself. Because you know what? How will we ever make change in this world if we shrink down, make ourselves smaller, and refuse to stand up for what we believe in?

My son, he is willing to do that. He is braver than most. Braver than me, certainly. Because at his age, I would’ve shrunk myself and traded the color, once an ‘all-knowing’ adult made a comment like that.

And I know my own biases. I used to say those things myself. I’m not free of this bias. But I am getting better. I am aware. And I am trying.

Because when I think about how children look to us as their teachers, their leaders, their moral standards – I have a serious responsibility to support, confirm, love and ACCEPT them for WHO THEY ARE.

Perhaps you think I’m blowing this pink binder up more than I should, but I don’t believe so. Because standing there and hearing two separate comments from adults, to my son, essentially questioning who he is, in less than 30 seconds…well I was profoundly hit with the weight those comments can have on him.

Now, imagine hearing these or similar comments on a regular basis. What will this child, my child, any child now tell themselves?

They will soon tell themselves, that they are wrong. That who they think they are, isn’t who they should be, because society doesn’t accept them AS IS.

So, I commit to continuing this hard work on myself to be aware of biases, expectations and assumptions I place on others. Especially our children. I commit to working hard on loving and accepting all our children, AS IS.

Will you do the same?