AARP and Me (#12)

True Story.  I was sitting here, looking at the blank screen on my computer, trying to decide what to write for today’s blog post.  While watching the cursor blink, I got distracted and decided to check my email and found this:

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From: AARP Membership Special <aarpmembership@sillonet.com>

Subject: Free “Insulated Travel Bag” for Joining or Renewing Membership

Date: August 6, 2012 8:03:43 AM CDT

To: Heather Petri

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Seriously?  I received an email from AARP about receiving a free insulated travel bag for joining or renewing my membership?  I’m not even 40!!!  Yes, I know – 40 is only 11 days away, but 40 is not AARP age?!  What the hell?

Now nothing is wrong with 50, which I believe is the age one is eligible to sign up for AARP – but I’ve got ten years until I’m there!  Don’t speed it up people, these ten years will go fast enough as it is!

Anyhoo – I’m actually excited about turning 40.  I haven’t hit an age yet that depressed me.  For some people, it was 30.  For others, I’ve heard it was 35.  Many people say 40 is tough.  But for me?  None have been concerning or hard.  Why should 40 be any different?  Besides, all of the greeting cards and stationary say 40 is fabulous.  What’s not to believe about that?

Rumor is you wake up smarter the morning you are 40 anyway.  So then there’s that.  I could use a few extra brain cells.  Who couldn’t?  Then there’s the WGAS (who gives a shit) attitude that I hear is prevalent once your reach your 40’s.  I’m really looking forward to the freedom of shrugging my shoulders and saying, ‘oh well’.

Why shouldn’t 40 be my best year yet anyway?  There’s that book, The Secret, that basically says what you put out into the universe will come back to you.  So I’m announcing it here, I want 40 to be my best year yet.  You hear that universe?  Got it?  Don’t be screwing with me, alright?!

Oh, and I want to be able to eat cake and lose weight at the same time.

Comprende?

So as I am wrapping up this post, I get another email saying I have a new Twitter follower.  Guess who it was.  No.  No one famous.  Just some chick in Missouri with a Twitter handle ‘3somelove’.  Really?  Really?

Am I entering the Twilight Zone or what?  The same day I get an email from AARP, I get spammed on Twitter by someone promoting threesomes?

Good thing I’ll have extra brain cells the morning I turn 40, because this shit is confusing.