“He’s always smiling…”
“But he’s been doing so good….”
“He’s just being dramatic…
“Oh, he’ll snap out of it…”
“He’s just having a bad day…we all have them.”
“But he looks so happy…”
Yes. He looks so happy.
Does this look like the face of depression? Like the face of anxiety? Does he look like one that suffers from a mood disorder? No?
Well…you’re wrong. And this, is my point.
He struggles with all three. Every day. And the overwhelming majority of people wouldn’t know it. Haven’t known it.
This isn’t just a mood. He’s not just having a bad day. This isn’t pre-teen hormones. This isn’t dramatics. This is mental illness. It has many faces. And his is one.
He has depression. And anxiety. He has a mood disorder and he’s on the cusp of OCD. This is him. His life. And he lives it every day.
And so do I.
I’m here to make it okay. I’m here to support. To cry with him, to be strong for him, to advocate for him. I’m here to ensure these labels don’t define him and his total being. But it is hard.
It breaks me. Some days more than others. What gives me strength though, is the words I have within that may help others. The healing that comes when one of you reading, may just…if even for a moment…feel what our struggle is like. When one of you…if even for a moment…feels less alone in your own journey of mental illness. Because if you feel it…if even for a moment…you can make a difference.
You can make it okay.
Join me in pledging to make it okay. Join me in eliminating the silence surrounding mental illness. Learn more at: www.makeitokay.org.
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Many times I struggle with my teenage son, and some of it breaks my heart. But you have so much strength and the way youve confronted this head on and supported and loved him and not given up on him is amazing. Thanks for sharing! Every Imelda I read your posts I just want to give you a giant hug just to show my support for you!
Such a brave, strong mama. I truly look up to you and the way you stand for your boy. Thank you for being such an incredible role model.
I hadn’t ever seen your posts here until today, and just read a few of them. Absolutely break my heart – for you both.
I can totally understand this… For years, starting in my late teens, I suffered from depression, and occasional anxiety. But you would NEVER know it from looking at me on the outside – I was super talkative, outgoing, always laughing and making jokes. But that was the shield I wrapped myself in… Sure, I WAS happy a lot of the time. But I could also get knocked down way too easily. The smallest thing could cause a night of crying at home. Into my early 20’s it got worse – and since it runs in my family {severely} I tried several different doctors and medications. They made me worse. But still – very few people knew, and most wouldn’t have believed it if they did know, based on my outward self I put out there.
My story had a happy ending… I don’t know why, but after having Abby, my entire self changed. That little dark cloud that had always followed me, just waiting to rain on me and change my mood at a moments notice, it just disappeared. Some women suffer from post-partum depression {which I was very worried about} – I somehow had something happen like post-partum optimism 🙂 I have never, not once, had those lows ever again. I don’t know if pregnancy just kind of gave a karate kick to the chemical imbalance and fixed things up, or whether it’s the change of having her around – but I am more at peace than ever in my life that I can remember.
So – keep up that hope for him. Many people do learn to better cope with those feelings as they get older. For many, life experiences help show them how much they have – which helps them give less care towards the negative feelings that try to take over. For some, just the right dose and course of medication can make them feel like a whole different person. I’ve watched a lot of happy endings happen in my extended family. I’m sure he has a happy future ahead too. Hugs to you momma!!