Vacation. It’s where we all go to escape our reality a bit…or a lot, right? We needed this escape. Big time.
The last three weeks have been some of the toughest we’ve had. At least from my point of view. I can’t pretend to know if they’ve been the hardest for Noah, but his torment and struggles have been some of the most severe I’ve seen him endure.
Then June 11th came. And so did a trip with the Grandparents to Marco Island, Florida. It is one of our favorite places. Warm, salty breezes. White granular sand. Sunsets made of oranges and reds. We’ve earned this trip. That is for sure.
Noah was thrilled to get away…and so was I. There’s just something about the beach that soothes the soul. And I just can’t get enough of it.
The trip has been great, but sadly even on vacation…on a white, sandy beach or a balcony overlooking the pool, one cannot escape their own thoughts. Those that tell one’s self that they are not good enough. Or they are different.
One of the first night’s here, I could see a sad, far away look in Noah’s eyes as he gazed down at the pool from our balcony. As he walked back into our room, he plopped himself on the bed, laying his head in his hands.
“What’s wrong Noah?”
“I just wanna be normal.”
“What do you mean, ‘normal’?”
“Without ADHD. I just wanna be normal.”
These little statements, short and not so sweet break my heart into tiny little pieces. I wish I could take his hurt away. I try by offering some perspective.
“Noah, do you know how many other people wish for the very same thing? When you look at the pool below, do you know how many people down there probably have something going on that you can’t see? Some probably have sadness, some have anxiety, some think they’re not smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough? Some probably have ADHD too! And you just can’t see it. I know that won’t take away your sadness, but maybe you knowing that, knowing you are not alone in just wishing you were ‘normal’ will help. And by the way, ‘normal’…well the very definition of ‘normal’ is different for each and every person.”
He was still pensive and deep in thought, but I think I might have gotten through to him a little bit. At least I hope so. And if not in that moment, I hope he can carry those words with him and pull them out another time, when he needs them most. When he just wants to feel normal. And hopefully, he’ll realize that being ‘normal’ is nothing more that what he himself…and no one else, gets to define.
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Poor Noah. I often feel the same with ADHD and anxiety. It’s a lifelong struggle but if he has good support and understanding like you and the rest of his family, It makes it a little more bearable. :). Even though there shouldn’t be a “normal”, there really is to some extent and it does effect daily life, relationships and self-esteem. keep on talking to him like you are, build him up and his good qualities and he will be successful. A lot of people with ADHD are very smart and have some great talents. channel him into those and make those big successes and it will also boost his self-esteem and build him up in front if peers. not only do i personally struggle with it, but 3 of my children. thats what has worked for us so far.
thinking of you! Hugs!
As the mom of TWO boys (maybe three ones still too young) with ADHD there are MANY days I wish the same thing for our lives. Normal, quiet and calm. Oh, I wish for the quiet. But you’re right, everyone wants more normal. What IS normal even? But when my boys start talking about wishing away their ADHD, sure there are moments I want to agree with them, but I try to remind them of all the other things they’d also wish away. ADHD makes them who they are, the good the bad and the noisy 🙂