Today is the Day

Today is the day.  The day I’ve been planning.  The day I’ve been waiting for.  The day I declare it.  No, I don’t feel ready, but I’m doing it anyway.  No matter how scary, how impossible it seems.  No matter how out there this dream feels.

Today is the day I declare my new job.

Writer.

GAH!

I even updated my job on my Facebook page in the ‘About’ section, so that ummm…makes it official, right? And I’m sitting at a coffee shop drinking a freaking latte (I don’t even like lattes), posing as a writer.  See?

Laptop? Check.  Latte?  Check.  Coffee shop? Check.  Pensively plotting my future New York Times ranking? Check.  Surrounded by other writers?  Ch – Well, maybe not.  Maybe just surrounded by some  guy sitting in the corner by himself, in front of his laptop, randomly saying out loud, ‘F off, F you, F this’… and a couple of old ladies talking church and hot dishes over their coffees.  Huh.  This is going to be sooooo interesting!

Anyhoo…I’m excited for this new journey.  And scared to death.  Who am I to claim myself as a writer anyway?  This is what I’m quietly thinking.

Then, my bolder, more confident over 40 self says, ‘You!  That’s who!  You can claim yourself a writer.  Why not!  If not you, then who?’.  And I remember the advice I gave to my 6th grader on his first day of school this morning – Don’t let anyone take away your awesome. Why shouldn’t I follow the very same advice I gave him?  I shouldn’t be defeated by my own self, right?  Seriously!

So here I go…on my new journey of coffee shops and lattes.  Owning and claiming the dream I’ve had for years.

I…am…a…writer.  I. Am. A. Writer.

Holy shit!  I. AM. A. WRITER!

My voice might still be a little shaky when I say it out loud, but I’m still saying it!

Just wait until I meet someone for the first time in one of these coffee shops and they say, “So what do you do?”

And I get to say, out loud, with conviction, “I…am a writer.”