Writing. It’s like exhaling. Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly…but either way, it’s an attempt at letting go of what I’m holding in. I’ve been avoiding writing lately. Because it’s hard. And it requires me to go ‘there’. You know, the place with all the feels. And then, I’ll spend a lot of time crying. And I […]
Watching Happiness
It was a beautiful evening. Sun shining, warmth on your shoulders, the first temps in the high 70’s we’ve seen this Spring. You could sense the delight and happiness of others as you saw people driving with their windows down, families out for walks, children playing in backyards. We sat in the car, in the parking […]
The Peace Lies in the ‘And’…
I’m really struggling here. Let me explain. Does anyone else feel this delicate balance of accepting things as they are, being grateful for what you have, and honoring your right to mourn, grieve or feel sad for what you don’t? Sunday, I arrived early to meet my Mom for a Mother’s Day lunch. As I […]
Before the Horizon
It’s 4am. Before the horizon fills with light, and I am filled with dread. A thousand little bits of worry and fear. Do you have a child? Look at them. Look in their eyes. What do you see? Light? Hope? Brightness? Wonder, excitement? Peace…God, the Peace. I never noticed the Peace before. And now I miss […]
I Don’t Know How You Do It
Our road. It’s a hard one to be sure. But then aren’t we all on hard roads, for one reason or another? When talking with others about the speed bumps on my particular road, the mental illnesses that my son fights daily, people often respond with, “Ugh. I don’t know how you do it…” I […]
Moments of Happy
Tonight I was going to write about the fun. The fun that we’ve had while on vacation. The bend over sideways laugh attacks and silly things we did while here. But then something happened tonight, after the fun was over and the evening winding down, that shook me to the core. I was flitting about […]
Filled with Hope
I could feel it the moment I walked into the room to pick him up at school. Sitting on the floor, his back to me. The hood of his sweatshirt pulled over his head. Draping his face, hiding the pain he is feeling. I’m getting better at this now. Detecting when there may be a […]